"On the date in question, I was called to Hyde Park, where I had been informed that a disturbance was taking place. On arriving at the location, I observed the Defendant, who was in charge of two young children and a pram, singing and dancing with a dishevelled man equipped with a large brush, later identified as the gentleman over there. I issued a warning and requested that they desist, at which point they attempted to encourage me to join them in their merriment. On asking the gentleman to cease, he observed "I does what I likes and I likes what I do," in what I considered was a weak attempt to imitiate a Cockney accent. PC Smith and myself saw that they were unlikely to co-operate, and arrested them.
"In the police station, a small quantity of sugar was found on the woman's person - I would estimate about a spoonful's. When asked about this, she claimed it was for "medicinal" purposes, and that it affected her in "quite the most delightful way". This, and earlier comments regarding dancing penguins and floating down from the sky, was sufficient to convince the arresting officer and myself that a serious drug offence was taking place. Miss Poppins was remanded on bail, pending a hearing.
"In any event, I do not believe that the law allows for a plea of supercalifradulisticexpialidocious."
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